


canals

by kingjem



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Songfic, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25955059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingjem/pseuds/kingjem
Summary: thomas has a dilemma and logan isn't there to help.a songfic to all time low's canals from their album don't panic
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	canals

**_I am a critic._ **

Logan was _critical_ of everything. He knew that he could admit it.

He was _critical_ of Patton’s skewed morality, and how the pitifulness of it only seemed to harm Thomas every time it was brought up.

He was _critical_ of Virgil’s methods, and how the former dark side refused to accept change of any kind.

And he was _critical_ of Roman, and his continued stubbornness to just accept and work around his schedules.

**_Of my own critical need to define myself._ **

But beyond anything. Logan was mostly critical of himself. He was Logic for Homer’s sake! Why was he like this? Why would he ever care so much? He knew his input was less than appreciated by the others, and yet… Logan knew he was always right, but recently it felt like he was treading on a road of shattered glass. No matter the step and no matter the direction he was bound to fuck up.  _ He was destined to make a critical mistake. _

Logan’s thoughts and downwards spiral was interrupted by a gentle tug in his abdomen. A summoning. That could only mean Thomas needed him, so his breakdown could be scheduled for later.

He sank down in his room, taking in the dark blue walls for what seemed like the last time. The stars did nothing to calm his anxieties. He rose up in the living room taking in the situation around him.

Virgil and Roman seemed to be having a screaming match, while Patton tried his hardest, in vain, to calm them down.

Logan glanced at Thomas. Their host looked tired, and even that felt like an understatement. Thomas looked exhausted. The bags under his eyes looking even darker than Virgil’s makeup.

“Well look at who _finally_ decided to show up!”

Logan rolled his eyes pointedly at Roman “I suppose something must have happened for you two to be ignoring Thomas’ near prostration”

Roman only scowled and Virgil looked ready to redirect his insults towards the logical side.

“Okay, kiddos! Let’s calm down!” Patton said, his voice uncharacteristically high “Virgil, why don’t you explain to Logan what happened? Hm? Maybe we can get to a compromise”

That was weird. Patton would accept Logan’s input, sometimes, however, he was being oddly lenient, what could have happened?

Virgil shoved his hands into his pockets, clearly uncomfortable with all the attention that was suddenly on him, but he began talking anyways.

“Thomas was at the grocery store buying some stuff for his meeting next week when-”

Well, he did suppose it was wishful thinking to assume this would go smoothly.

“When we _saw_ the most beautiful man that could’ve graced our presence in any realm, mortal or ETHEREAL!” Roman interrupted, his smile wide and dreamy. Great. Yikes.

“What did you do, Roman?”

The creative side feigned shock “What makes you think it was ME? What about Patton?!”

Logan didn’t even get the chance to counter how obviously fallacious that statement was, but Virgil managed to beat him to it.

“You’re full of shit, Prince Eric”

“Eh, fair enough. We stalked him” Roman admitted, smiling sheepishly as if he didn’t just confess to following around a poor guy that was most likely only looking to get some groceries.

Well, that was unexpected. Logan looked to Thomas again. Their host groaned loudly covering his face with his hands and muffling a scream. His mental state was worsening by the second, the guilt of his actions with whatever anxiety Virgil was piling up… it could only go south.

“You _stalked_ him? Why? What could have possibly led you to the conclusion that that was a sound choice to make?”

Everyone was quiet, and the vibe in the living room was not great.

Thomas had opted to sit on the sofa, his tiredness getting the best of him. Patton kept glancing between himself and Roman, waiting for the imminent explosion, but Logan wasn’t going to let that happen.

Roman was agitated. He assumed that Virgil’s anxiety was spreading to everyone. He had to defuse the situation before it got out of his hands.

“Roman,” He began slowly. It was like talking to a small child that was sure the world was out to kill him. “I just think-”

That had been the wrong thing to say.

“Oh! You _think_! Think what- Logan? Hm? That fucking Roman is insane for feeling so cripplingly alone he felt the need to _fucking stalk_ a hot guy in the Target parking lot?! That he didn’t even see us because our resident Alex Gaskarth started losing it so badly Thomas ran to his car and had a full-blown panic attack?! Did you think _that_ Logic?!”

The silence was deafening.

Thomas was clutching his stomach. Anxiety was heightened, he needed to do something. Fast.

“Roman, I-”

“Where even _were_ you, Logan? I don’t care that “Logic” is always there. We needed you, and you were too busy hiding like a fucking parasite” The anger in Roman’s eyes was clear.

A fucking parasite? The implications of such a nickname were hurting Logan much more than he would ever care to admit.

**_Am I a villain? Cast among heroes with all their underwhelming, overbearing struggles._ **

“Are you saying this is my fault?”

“Obviously” Roman spit at him, and no one disagreed.

In fact! No one was saying anything. Did they all agree with him? That Logan was at fault for something that could’ve been avoided like this?

He hadn’t been there when Thomas had needed him. He had been too busy pondering about himself. He didn’t even find himself capable of being angry at Roman. He needed to, he-

He sunk out. He needed time to think. Needed time to control his thoughts. They all felt like a dark wave crashing against what he knew.

He had been so busy trying to figure his head out, he had completely ignored his main duty to Thomas, and it had hurt everyone. Especially Roman.

**_I’ll give you an eye for an eye if it makes things easier._ **

“I do always enjoy seeing Roman squirm,” Janus purred, rising up in Logan’s room. He smiled coyly at him “but do tell Logan, what happened?”

Logan looked back at the side. He still didn’t know what to think of Janus’ new presence in the mindscape. It was jarring, but it was even more jarring to see Janus in his room.

The logical side set his glasses on his desk. “I was not able to fulfill my purpose today,” He said rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“Your purpose? Don’t tell me you blame yourself for Roman’s- generally creepy behavior towards that gentleman?” Janus laughed “Cmon on, Logan. You have to know Roman was speaking on emotions, not necessarily what he truly believes”

He was sure Janus was lying for his benefit. Logan had caused this. He had not been there for Roman when the other side had needed someone to ground him.

“You’re quite peculiar, Logic. Did ya know that?”

Logan looked up “What are you talking about?”

“Being self-preservation I tend to keep an eye out for everyone, even if they don’t like it”

“I don’t-”

Janus pressed a gloved finger to Logan’s lips “Shush, for a second, please?”

Logan nodded. He reached out to his desk, grabbing his glasses and putting them on his face.

“You think of yourself as critical, however, there’s only one side you’ve been extremely critical of, and we both know who that is, don’t we Logan?” Janus asked. The answer was obvious nonetheless.

“Ro-”

“Tsk, tsk. No, Logan. Yourself. I will admit our resident Princey isn’t exactly the _best_ at receiving criticism, but you’re too hard on yourself”

Logan didn’t know how to respond. The other sides had proven that he was too critical and mean to them. It was the entire reason he had stopped pestering Roman and Virgil with new content. Janus however, kept talking.

“It’s fine to be critical. I’m not sure Thomas would be where he is now if it weren’t for that stoic voice in his head checking the quality of his work, but Logan,” He said, grabbing the other side’s shoulders “You can’t keep blaming yourself for everything, the guilt _will_ eat you up”

He was right, which was an odd sentiment to share about another side, but he was sure of it now. Ironically enough, he needed to be more critical of his criticisms towards himself.

Speaking of irony. He smiled at Janus “Like a snake devouring its tail?”

**_Smile. Tell me I’m alright._ **

Janus grinned “An eternal paradox, but of course”

**Author's Note:**

> thank u sm for reading! this was a doozy to write and i'm just glad it's finished.


End file.
